Back to Work After Maternity Leave – A NON-Legal Guide (Part I)

Parents today face countless challenges, and a mother's return to work after maternity leave can bring even more uncertainty, self-doubt, stress, and anxiety—not only for her, but for the whole family.

So, how can mothers make this transition a little easier?

In the following paragraphs, I'd like to share a few practical suggestions that many of my coaching clients have found helpful as they prepare to return to work. These are also topics that often come up during our coaching sessions, as mothers look for the time and space to explore them in greater depth.

Before we begin, I'd like to point out that this list is by no means exhaustive.

Every conversation is different, and every family's circumstances are unique. That means the right approach - and the right solution - will look different for each person.

There's a significant difference between returning to work after your first maternity leave and returning after your second, third, or fourth.

The experience can also vary depending on the length of your career break. Returning after more than three years away from work brings different challenges than returning after six to twelve months.

In this first article, I'll focus on some broader, more universally applicable ideas. If you've been away from the professional world for a longer period (more than four years), you may also find my article on returning to work after an extended career break helpful.

With that said, I hope the ideas below will offer at least a little guidance if you're preparing to take this step in the near future.

1. Start with Yourself and Your Readiness for Change

One thing I often notice is that many mothers spend the final weeks before returning to work rushing to organise everything else. There's paperwork to complete. Administrative tasks to sort out. Nursery or school arrangements to finalise. Countless practical details that all seem urgent. Yet in the middle of all that preparation, we rarely stop to ask ourselves a much more important question:

Am I actually ready for this change?

Of course, I'm not referring to situations where life leaves us with little choice—unexpected financial difficulties, changes in family circumstances, divorce, or other situations where returning to work quickly becomes a necessity.

Even then, however, I'd encourage you to set aside a little time—even if it's only a few quiet minutes—to reflect on your situation by asking yourself a few simple questions:

• What do I hope returning to work will give me?

• How will returning to work benefit me, personally?

• How might it benefit my family, my child, and the people closest to me?

• How ready do I feel for this change?

• What would help me feel fully prepared?

Once you've taken the time to reflect, you may find that your initial emotions or assumptions begin to shift.

And if returning to work truly is the right next step for you—whatever the reason may be—try not to worry.

Lock away society's expectations.

Open the window and wave goodbye to guilt.

Take a deep breath.

Then take the next step.

You'll still be a wonderful mother, even if you work full-time.

2. Prepare Yourself Before You Return

At this stage, start by finding out what has changed within the company you worked for before your maternity leave.

If you haven't had any formal or informal conversations with your manager or caught up with colleagues during your leave, now might be the perfect time to reconnect.

Even if your only goal is to start shifting your mindset back into "work mode," it can be incredibly valuable.

• Drop by the office.

• Meet your closest work friend for a coffee.

• Catch up with former colleagues.

• Arrange a conversation with your manager, simply to reconnect and hear what's been happening. Here, I'm referring to a manager with whom you already have a positive and supportive relationship.

If your line manager isn't someone you feel you can trust or rely on, this approach may not be the right one for you. In that case, you may need to consider a different strategy—or perhaps even whether it's time for a new job.

Whatever your situation, it can be helpful to start by talking to colleagues, your HR team, or close friends from work. Even a few conversations can give you a clearer picture of what to expect and help you feel more prepared for your return.

3. Prepare Your Child and Your Family

Beyond the practical questions - such as who will help care for your child—it's worth taking some time to think about how this transition will affect your whole family.

Just as you prepare your child for starting nursery or school, it's equally important to prepare yourself and everyone around you - for your return to work.

Think through as many practical scenarios as you can.

• Who will look after your child if they're unwell and can't attend nursery or school?

• How flexible are your working hours?

• Will you need additional support from another family member?

• If the answer is yes—even if it's your own mother who's planning to help—have those conversations in advance so that everyone knows what to expect.

• How will your partner be involved?

• Who will collect your child from nursery?

• Who will stay home if they're ill?

I imagine your heart rate might already be increasing just reading those questions.

Take a deep breath.

Then go back to Step 1.

You'll be okay.

We all find a way through these challenges when we're clear about why we're making this change, why it matters to us, and when we remind ourselves just how many difficult things we've already overcome.

4. The Formal Side (A Brief Disclaimer)

Once you've made the decision to return to work, there's no avoiding the formalities.

As I'm not a lawyer, and legal matters are well outside my area of expertise, I won't go into detail here.

However, I would encourage you to:

• confirm the details of your role,

• speak with your HR department,

• plan how you'd like to use any accrued annual leave,

• explore flexible working arrangements or the possibility of working from home, and

• never sign any documents before reading them carefully and making sure you fully understand them.

  
  

5. Reflect on Your Expectations

One sentence I've heard time and time again—from friends, colleagues, clients, and even from myself—is this:

"I didn't expect everything to feel so different when I returned to work."

That's exactly why I'd encourage you to spend some time thinking about your expectations before you return. You might even find it helpful to write them down.

Ask yourself:

• What am I expecting from myself?

• Where are my personal boundaries?

• What situations at work would I be comfortable saying "no" to?

• What about within my family?

• And when it comes to household responsibilities?

Working on personal boundaries is one of the most common topics that comes up in my coaching practice.

Very often, it goes hand in hand with feelings of guilt.

If you'd like to avoid stepping onto that treadmill after your very first week back at work, spend some time adjusting your expectations before you return.

Lower the impossible standards you've set for yourself.

Perfectionism won't help you. So ask yourself instead: What would?

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