A Survival Guide for Working Mums

The alarm goes off at exactly 7:00 a.m., and a new day begins...

Before you've even had the chance to properly open your eyes, the day's negotiations are already underway. Do we really have to go to nursery, preschool, or school today? Has anyone forgotten their homework? Is there a school project due? Will we get stuck in traffic on the way to work? And just as everyone is standing in the hallway, full of hope that today you'll actually leave the house on time, someone's water bottle gets knocked over and spills everywhere.

Your work calendar is packed, your to-do list seems endless, and on top of everything else, you have to boil eggs for Maundy Thursday because your little one's nursery is decorating Easter eggs today. Which means you need to remember three things: first, buy the eggs; second, boil them; and third, make sure they arrive at nursery on time together with your child (you haven't forgotten the child already, have you?). And yes—I mean both the child and the eggs.

Eventually, everyone makes it back home, and the second shift begins.

Dinner needs to be prepared, the washing needs doing, THE EGGS need your attention, and somewhere in between you'd quite like to exchange more than two sentences with your partner.

Are we actually going to book that holiday this year?

Should we finally renovate the children's bedroom?

Or perhaps the eternal question...

"What's for dinner?"

Being a parent is a 24/7 job. It requires an enormous amount of time, energy, and commitment, whether both parents work full-time while raising children, or one parent has chosen to focus primarily on caring for the family while the other works outside the home.

I'm certainly not suggesting that one role is easier or more valuable than the other.

My goal is simply to support those of you who recognise yourselves in the situations above and would like to find ways to navigate the challenges of combining parenthood with a full-time career.

Balancing work and raising a child isn't as straightforward as dividing the day into X hours at work and Y hours at home. So, how do we make it work?

And perhaps the bigger question is this:

Does such a thing as work-life balance really exist for working parents?

Here are a few ideas that might help make everyday life feel a little more manageable.

1. Planning

Even if planning isn't your greatest strength, once you return to work you'll probably discover that having some kind of plan is far better than having none at all. A little preparation before the working day begins can make a big difference.Ideally, that preparation starts the evening before.

Is your child going to nursery, preschool, or school tomorrow, while you're heading to work? Great. Lay out your own clothes and your child's clothes, and pack an extra outfit just in case there are any unexpected wardrobe disasters before you even leave the house. Fill their water bottle, prepare a snack for the journey, charge your phones, and get everything else ready that you can prepare in advance.

The goal is simple: avoid making unnecessary decisions early in the morning when everyone is rushing.

It's also a great idea to involve your child in the preparations, no matter how young they are. There's an added bonus - you'll be helping them develop independence, and one day they may be able to do many of these things on their own. Planning your day can be incredibly helpful, but for some of you it may also feel stressful. After all, even the best plan doesn't always survive contact with real life - especially when children are involved.

That's why I'd like to make one thing clear: the purpose of a plan is to support you, not to create more pressure.

The moment you find yourself asking, "Is this plan actually helping me and my family?" and the answer is no, don't be afraid to adjust it. Think about what would work better for your own situation and build your plan around that instead.

2. Making the Most of Time That Never Seems to Be Enough

"It's all about being organised."

You've probably heard this advice countless times—from other mums, grandparents, neighbours, or well-meaning friends.

And while there's certainly some truth in it, every child is different. Some children need a great deal of attention, while others are naturally more independent.

Instead of trying to become perfectly organised, try asking yourself a different question:

• Which part of my day could allow me to combine two tasks?

• What is one thing I could organise better to free up time for something else—or even for myself?

• Who could I ask for help, even with something small?

For example, you could do your grocery shopping online or ask a family member, friend, or neighbour to pick up a few things for you the next time they're at the supermarket.

Or perhaps, instead of your next mindless scrolling session on your phone, you could use those few minutes to create your shopping list or plan the week's evening meals—in other words, turn your scrolling into something a little more purposeful.

Social media takes up a surprising amount of our time. You may be able to reclaim a few precious minutes simply by making more intentional use of it.

And finally, there's absolutely nothing wrong, embarrassing, or shameful about asking for help. Equally, when someone offers to help, try not to refuse automatically.

It took me years to realise that asking for help—and allowing others to help me—is actually a wonderful thing.

(Mariyanka, if you're reading this, thank you once again for the homemade meatball soup you brought me when Gabi was six months old and crying 24/7 with the volume of an angle grinder.)

3. Setting Priorities

Even if you've found the ideas we've discussed so far helpful, every family and every situation is different. That's why, the next time you're faced with choosing between two or more important priorities that compete with each other - for example, attending your child's school performance at 5 p.m. or joining an important work meeting scheduled for the very same time - try this simple exercise.

• Rate each option on a scale from 1 to 10.

• How important is it to you?

• What impact will it have?

• Who will it affect?

• How will it affect them - today and in the future?

• Take a few quiet moments to reflect on these questions with honesty.

Leave guilt and self-judgement aside for now.

You know better than anyone else what matters most in your life, at this particular moment and in this particular situation. Trust yourself, your judgement and intuition.

And perhaps, be just a little kinder to yourself when making difficult decisions.

4. Making Time for Yourself – Why It Matters and How to Do It

Another piece of advice you'll hear time and time again from family, friends, and other mums is this:

"You need to make time for yourself."

And they're right. In fact, it's probably one of the few pieces of advice that research consistently supports.

If you want to continue being a parent, a professional, and simply a person who feels comfortable in their own skin, you need time to recharge.

You already know that.

The real question is...

How do you make it happen when there's always something more important waiting to be done?

Countless studies have explored the importance of taking time for yourself. I won't overwhelm you with statistics, but if you're interested in the research, I've included a few studies here and here.

Perhaps the first step is changing the way we think about it.

Instead of saying we need to find time for ourselves, what if we started saying we need to set aside time - or even take time for ourselves?

There will always be another load of washing. Another sink full of dishes. Dinner to cook. Children to play with. A work presentation to prepare. The list never ends.

But for that entire machine of responsibilities and expectations to keep running, you need somewhere to recharge your own energy. Try thinking about yourself beyond your profession, beyond your role as a mother or homemaker. Think of yourself simply as a person-with your own needs, dreams, interests, and preferences. Who are you? If you had just ten minutes to yourself today, what would you choose to do? Read an article?Listen to your favourite music? Meditate? Put on your favourite face mask? Call a friend?

Now imagine you had one, two, or even three hours.

What would you do just for yourself?

The next time you're planning your day, try scheduling some time that's just for you.

If you're someone who enjoys planners and calendars, put it in your diary.

If you prefer a more spontaneous approach, then simply pause for a moment at the end of the day and ask yourself:

"Did I take any time for myself today?"

If not...

"What could help me take those few minutes right now?"

"How important is that time to me?"

Even if it's only one, three, or five minutes, you've already taken an important step forward.

Give yourself credit for that.

5. Let Go of Guilt

Research shows that more than 95% of mothers experience feelings of guilt.

You might wonder why mothers, in particular, experience these often unfounded feelings so frequently—and why the percentage is so remarkably high.

There are two main reasons.

• The first is the social expectation of the "perfect mother" - the image society creates of how mothers should look, behave, raise their children, feed them, whether they should work or stay at home, and countless other expectations that seem impossible to live up to.

• The second reason is biological. Long before a child is born - and throughout pregnancy, birth, and those first precious months afterwards - a mother develops an incredibly strong connection with her baby. That bond can be deeply beautiful and inspiring. It can also be physically exhausting, emotionally demanding, and filled with responsibility.

As a result, the feeling of "I'm not doing enough" can quietly become part of everyday life.

Research increasingly shows that persistent guilt can have a significant impact on a mother's mental wellbeing, her child, and even the relationship between them.

I'll explore this topic in much greater depth in a future article, but for now I'd like to leave you with three simple ideas that may help when guilt begins to take over.

Imagine you're feeling guilty because your child isn't eating as well as you'd hoped.

Now imagine that a close friend came to you with exactly the same concern.

What would you say to her?

What advice would you give?

Very often, we're far more compassionate towards the people we love than we are towards ourselves.

Try looking at your situation through that same compassionate lens.

The next time guilt catches up with you, try pressing pause for a few minutes.

• You could practise a short meditation.

• You could ask yourself what is actually within your control.

• Or simply try this breathing exercise:

• Breathe in for four seconds.

• Hold your breath for two seconds.

• Breathe out slowly for six seconds.

• Repeat this a few times to help calm your nervous system.

  
  

You're Doing Better Than You Think

Let's be honest.

Balancing work, shopping, cooking, self-care, raising children, and everything else life throws at us is incredibly challenging. Sometimes it feels impossible. If everyone has made it safely to bed by the end of the day, that's already something worth celebrating.

If there's one thing I'd love you to take away from this article, it's this:

You already have the resources, the knowledge, the skills, and the strength to do what's best for your family - within the unique circumstances of your own life.

And if you ever feel as though you're losing yourself along the way, please don't hesitate to reach out for support.

You can always get in touch with me for a complimentary introductory coaching session.

And as someone who has walked this path herself, let me remind you one more time:

You're doing far better than you think.