Five Strategies to Rebuild Your Personal and Professional Confidence After Maternity Leave
- Sofiya Dimitrova
- Dec 2, 2023
- 6 min read
Those of you who have already gone through the process of returning to work after a career break will probably have a good idea why I'm writing this article. Others, who are about to take that step, may be feeling uncertain, anxious, or unsure about what to expect.
As for me, despite all my confidence that I would return to work and pick up exactly where I had left off, my own experience of coming back after maternity leave eventually led me to create Working Mama.
Not because I didn't have a supportive employer or a supportive husband, but because I had changed. I needed to rediscover myself and understand who I was beyond the roles of mother and professional.
Rebuilding my confidence happened gradually. One of the reasons was surprisingly simple - I could no longer clearly remember how I had approached my work before maternity leave. I knew I had been good at what I did, but it was difficult to feel the same level of confidence when even my English wasn't quite what it used to be, and my brain simply wasn't working in the same way it had before.
Whatever your reason for reading this article, the important thing is that if you've found your way here, chances are this challenge isn't unfamiliar to you. My hope is to share a few simple strategies that can help you rebuild your professional confidence. These ideas are based not only on my own personal experience, but also on my professional background and my work as an accredited coach. At the same time, I'd like to remind you that confidence is rarely just a professional issue. When I work with clients on this topic, we explore it from every angle—personal, professional, and life as a whole - because we're complex human beings. If we're struggling with confidence or self-belief (and yes, there is a subtle difference between the two), the root of the issue is rarely confined to just one area of our lives.
❖ Check the Facts
We have a tendency to forget our successes while remembering our failures in vivid detail.
And while it's true that we often learn the most from our setbacks, our successes deserve just as much attention. They are the evidence that we've overcome challenges before. They remind us that we are capable. So what do we often do instead?:
We minimise our achievements.
We explain them away.
Sometimes, we even forget them altogether.
I'd like to invite you to try a simple exercise.
The next time you face a challenge, pause for a moment and think about a similar situation you've successfully handled in the past.
How did you deal with it?
What strengths helped you then?
How does remembering that experience make you feel?
Now return to the challenge you're facing today.
Is it really true that you can't handle it?
Is it really true that you don't have the knowledge or the skills?
❖ Build a Network of Support and Encouragement
And if you haven't tried the previous exercise yet, I'd like to offer you another one.
Sometimes we're simply too close to our own experiences to recognise our personal and professional achievements. Fortunately, there are people around us who can remind us of them without hesitation.
Most often, these are the people closest to us - our family and friends.
Of course, we're sometimes tempted to dismiss what our loved ones tell us. After all, we might think, "They're my family. Of course they're going to say nice things about me."
But when it comes to our professional lives, we tend to place greater trust in the feedback we receive from former colleagues, managers, or mentors.
If you've taken a career break, chances are you had already built a professional path before it. Along the way, you've probably met colleagues - and perhaps even made lifelong friends.
If you have people like that in your life, I'd encourage you to reconnect with them.
If they truly know you, I'm confident they'll quickly remind you of who you were professionally, what your strengths were, and how you approached challenges. They may even offer practical advice or lend a helping hand as you prepare for your return to work.
Sometimes, one honest conversation can completely change the way we see ourselves because it grounds our self-assessment in real experiences and concrete examples, rather than in self-doubt.
❖ Recognise Your Skills and Strengths
Whenever we step away from our careers - whether for a few months or a few years- it's only natural to begin questioning our abilities.
But let's pause for a moment.
You haven't spent that time doing nothing.
You've been learning.
You've been growing.
You've been developing in ways you may not even recognise yet.
And if your career break was maternity leave, then you already know that it is anything but a walk in the park.
During this time, you've developed skills that are highly valuable in every aspect of life: managing stress, organising countless moving pieces, collaborating with others, prioritising your time, adapting quickly, and strengthening your empathy.
Take a moment to reflect on everything you've successfully navigated during your time away from the workplace. Then look even further back.
What personal qualities helped you succeed before your career break?
What strengths have always moved you forward, both personally and professionally?
Take a sheet of paper and write down every strength, quality, achievement, and accomplishment that comes to mind.
Then look at your list through a professional lens.
Which of these strengths are just as valuable in the workplace?
How could you use them in your next role?
❖ Invest in Your Personal Development and Learning
I couldn't write this article without including this step.
After spending many years working in Learning and Development, I've seen first-hand how learning does much more than expand our knowledge - it also builds confidence, especially when we're feeling uncertain about our abilities.
For example, if you feel that your foreign language skills have become a little rusty, spending some time improving them could make a real difference.
Or perhaps you've noticed that you're no longer up to date in a particular professional field.
That doesn't necessarily mean you need to spend hundreds - or even thousands - on expensive certifications.
If you have a reasonable level of English, YouTube alone offers thousands of experts who generously share valuable knowledge completely free of charge.
If, on the other hand, you're considering investing in an expensive certification programme, I'd encourage you to think carefully about three things:
Investment. Return. Confidence.
Before committing to a costly course, ask yourself:
What am I hoping to achieve?
Do I really need a certification, or would working with a mentor help me more?
Could I learn what I need from a book or an online course?
Why is this particular training important to me?
There are many different ways to learn, and completing a course or earning a certification will almost certainly give you an extra boost of confidence.
At the same time, I'd encourage you to think carefully about why you want to learn this particular subject.
What will you be able to do once you've completed the training?
What will be different for you?
The answers to those questions will help you choose learning opportunities that truly support your goals, rather than simply collecting qualifications.
❖ The Positive Side of a Career Break and Its Connection to Confidence
As we come to the end of this article, I'd like to invite you to look at your time away from the professional world from a different perspective. I'm certain that throughout this period you've developed many new strengths and qualities. In fact, you may only now be beginning to recognise some of them. Take a moment to identify these new qualities. Give yourself credit. Pat yourself on the back for everything you've accomplished so far. And when it comes to your career, remember that professional skills can always be learned or refreshed. Many things simply come back with time and practice.
Final Thoughts
Perhaps we've changed over time. Perhaps hormones have played a part. Perhaps our brains really do "glitch" after becoming mothers (in fact, there's growing research explaining why this happens). If you're curious to learn more, you might enjoy reading my article about the remarkable superpowers of our brains.
Or perhaps what we really need is simply a little more time - and a little more courage to take that first step. Whatever the reason, don't be afraid to ask for support. That support might come from a Facebook community, a psychologist, a coach, a mentor, a training programme, or perhaps even through sport if that's what motivates and energises you.
Self-belief doesn't develop overnight. More often than not, it's closely intertwined with our fear of failure. That's a topic in its own right, opening the door to many different conversations and possibilities for growth.
And if, on this personal journey, you'd like to work with me through a positive, supportive, and results-focused coaching partnership, you can find more information below about what you can expect from working together. I wish you every success. And with just a little more faith in yourself, I'm confident you'll find the path that is right for you!
I'd like to finish with a quote from my daughter's favourite children's book - a book that, in my opinion, contains more wisdom than many personal development books: The Smart Cookie by Jory John and Pete Oswald.
"You don't have to know the answers to every question or suddenly become good at absolutely everything. You simply need to try different things, discover who you are, and find what you love doing."
